Will Jacky's News Blog: 29 People Share the Funniest Things They Misunderstood as Kids

We all have one of these stories; a memory from childhood when we completely misunderstood something that our cute little brains just couldn't process yet. At the time, we were so sure that we knew what we were talking about. But, of course, we totally didn't.

Like these 29 people, who are still cringing with embarrassment over their childhood misunderstandings... And if they're not, well, they should be.

Kids... they say the darndest things... And think the weirdest things.

And it’s sort of strangely satisfying to look back and realize just how young and naive we once were.

It’s also sort of embarrassing and even more hilarious.

"This is chaos."

These are the words that my dad once shouted at a busted traffic signal as my younger brother and I sat in the backseat, amidst the honking horns and flashing red lights of Los Angeles gridlocked traffic.

For years, and I mean YEARS, my younger brother and I both thought that the technical term for a broken traffic signal was “chaos.”

The funny thing is, we would both say the phrase aloud every time we saw a malfunctioning traffic signal and it always made sense so no one ever questioned it or corrected us.

Every time I sit alone in my car at a broken traffic signal, I smile for 1.5 seconds while reflecting on this childhood memory… before I return to adulthood to fully lash out at the idiots cutting me off.

-yours truly

This guy is still paying penance as an adult for his childhood misunderstanding.

Catholic School 2nd grade (1958) after [first communion] – We were marched over to confession every Friday.

Our teacher, a nun, would go over the 10 commandments to point out various sins we might be guilty of she would always gloss over one commandment.

One time curiosity got the better of me and in the confessional booth I add to my list: … “and I committed adultery seven times.” The Priest let out “YOU WHAT!?” which could be heard throughout the church, making me a hero to my classmates and someone to keep a very watchful eye on by the nuns.

–

And that’ll be 1,700 Hail Marys for you, Mit.

Making friends when you're young can be difficult, but it was really difficult for this kid.

I thought ‘goodbye and good riddance’ meant ‘goodbye and it was good to meet you,’ so I said it to new people I met.

–

(insert laughing-so-hard-I’m-crying emoji here X3)

Now, this kid had a vivid imagination.

We drove by a casino and I asked what it was and my stepmom told me that’s where people go to flush money down the toilet. For the longest time, I thought people were there dropping money in a toilet and flushing it.

–

Why does it feel like this sort of scenario could actually exist in some niche underground millionaire club that I will never be invited to?

This next kid may have been the first person ever arrested for ‘jaywalking.’

We're going streaking!

I thought “jaywalking” meant walking down the street completely naked.

–

This kid put it all on the table at dinnertime.

My friend came over for dinner for the first time and my mom was making her plate. She said Mrs. Smith I’m a vegetarian. I looked at her and said “I thought you were black. 😂

-Wendy Smith Williams

We bet this kid never skipped class!

I thought playing hooky meant being a hooker/prostitute. 😂

–

... And to the republic, for Richards Stands.

As the youngest in the family, I had heard my parents and my older siblings talk a lot about history before I started school. On entering the first grade and learning the “Pledge of Allegiance”, I couldn’t figure out who “Richard Stands” was. If HE was what our country-our Republic “stood for”-why hadn’t I ever heard of him?
(As in “…and to the Republic for Richard Stands……..”)

–

This kid thought his mom was a real road-rager.

I thought my mom was cursing while driving cause she kept saying “look at all these potholes” 😂

–

While this young girl may have thought her mom was a real rageaholic, this next kid was convinced her mom was a criminal.

According to this kid, most moms are career criminals.

I thought that when coins or bills went through the wash, that was money laundering.

–

I’m glad she was wrong. Otherwise, I’d be serving hard time.

Here's one way to scare kids straight.

I used to watch the TV show Adam 12, when they arrested someone and read them their rights, I heard, ” anything you say, a cannon will be used against you in a court of law”, instead of Can and Will be used against you. I was terrified of being arrested!

–

Oh yes, our unalienable American right to be pummelled by a cannon in court. Undoubtedly, one of our most treasured freedoms.

This kid's mom is still wondering why so many of her friends didn't keep in touch.

I legit thought my moms name was Mom….. So when people would call and ask for Debbie, I told them they had the wrong number.😬

–

This kid took on more responsibility than he could 'bear.'

When smokey the bear pointed and said only you can prevent forest fires, I thought he meant me personally.

–

Hey Smokey, maybe put down the tokey, get off your lazy butt and help this kid out why don’t ya?

Bossy ass bear.

This kid probably shouldn't have been judging others based on their intelligence.

When I heard the word “oxymoron.” I thought it was a stupid cow.

–

Isn’t that kind of the pot calling the kettle black, Marti? Or should I say, the Popp calling the cattle stupid? Oh man, couldn’t help myself.

This next kid thought the best things in life are free… literally.

According to this kid, I need to make a quick stop by the Louvre and Tiffany's.

I thought something priceless was free because it didn’t have a price.

–

No soup for this kid!

When I read the word ‘brothel’ in the Bible, I thought it must be some sort of soup kitchen.

–

We're guessing this lady probably got confused A LOT as a kid.

When we drove places as a family I remember seeing the signs in the fields that read “lots for sale”. I always wondered…lots of what?

–

Vegetables are an essential part of every child's diet.

I insisted the alphabet had “elemental peas” instead of l, m, and n before the p.

–

According to this kid, Labor Day is all of our Birthdays.

Babies Chillin GIF from Babies GIFs

I thought Labor Day was when all pregnant women had their babies.

–

Silly, but forgivable. Unlike this next kid who is still banned from his family’s church.

This kid headed straight to confession after church.

I thought Viagra was Tylenol, my pastor had a headache and told him he needed some Viagra in front of the whole church. Needless to say there was much laughter and confusion on my part.

–

This kid wins for darkest misinterpretation...

I thought homicide was killing a ‘homo.’

–

A lot of people seemed to be confused about this when they were kids...

I thought that the music on the radio happened because all of the bands and musicians got together at the station and took turns playing their music.😄

–

Here's yet another terrified and confused kid.

I thought gunpoint was an actual place.

–

And not a fun place to visit, either.

This kid may have misunderstood but her teacher still sounds cold as ice.

My first-grade teacher told a little boy she was going to isolate him. I thought she was going to sit him in a block of ice in the back of the classroom.

–

While freezing a child in a block of ice would, no doubt, be cruel, ‘isolating’ a child sounds pretty cold-blooded, too.

Even as a child, this next woman was a strict adherer of the law- a little too strict.

In all fairness to this kid, the phrase "Don't drink and drive" is seriously lacking in details.

I used to think “don’t drink and drive” meant don’t drink anything while driving. Once, my dad was driving while drinking a soda and I told him he can’t drink and drive. He just looked at me like I was an idiot.

–

Yeah, we know the look… still get it from time to time.

Mary Tyler Moore, Mandy Moore, Many More... same difference. It's hard to keep up these days.

I remember my parents watching award shows (like the Oscars ect) and when they would name famous people that were going to present after the commercial break they would go down the list & then say “and many more” I always thought “Many More” was a person.

–

Who didn’t love good ol’ Many More? She was like Mary Tyler Moore meets Mandy Moore but like, so much more…

We hope somebody explained to this kid that while 'walking in the street' and 'street walking' are both dangerous, it's for very different reasons.

I remember seeing in the Standard Time’s Newspaper that a woman had been arrested for ‘street walking!’ I was upset as I walked on the street when there was no sidewalk available!!

Can you pass the butter, darling?

Smile Awkward GIF from Smile GIFs

I once tried out “darling” as a term of endearment…

For. My. Dad.

During brunch.

With his new clients.

I guess I just didn’t realize that the phrase was so exclusively held by relationships of a romantic nature. My bad.

Although, admittedly, I have no idea why I did or thought a lot of embarrassing things as a kid. And, quite honestly, I don’t think these people do, either.

Yet these stories confirm 3 steadfast truths of childhood:

1) Being a kid is like being slightly high all the time.

2) As kids, we seemed to take things REALLY literally.

3) Finally, we also seemed to vocally assert our misinterpretations in highly public settings and in ways that made our misunderstandings substantially more embarrassing than they really needed to be.

Make sure to share your humiliating yet hilarious misunderstanding as a kid!

Original Article : HERE ; This post was curated & posted using : RealSpecific

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29 People Share the Funniest Things They Misunderstood as Kids was originally posted by Auto Moto - Feed

Will Jacky's News Blog

Thursday, May 31, 2018

29 People Share the Funniest Things They Misunderstood as Kids

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